The worst part was that he had done absolutely nothing wrong.
From the beginning of our relationship, I had noticed the absence of a certain spark on my part. Something Carrie Bradshaw calls the "zsa zsa zsu." While I certainly felt very attracted to Jordan, I just never had that indescribable, almost giddy feeling one gets from time to time, especially in the beginning of a relationship. I've felt the zsa zsa zsu in past relationships, and that is the only reason I noticed its lack in ours.
I was also beginning to realize that maybe I'm not ready for a serious relationship at this time in my life. I am searching for graduate schools right now, and I have decided that I do not want to stay in Cincinnati. It doesn't feel right to form such a romantic attachment when I am planning on leaving soon.
Breaking up with Jordan has caused me an entirely new level of sadness. Not only am I saddened that he and I are no longer together, but it upsets me even more to know how much hurt I have caused him. Knowing that I've made someone feel that way, especially someone I care a great deal about, is one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced.
As my friend commented, "It's not like Sex and the City, is it?"
No- it isn't. Sometimes you have to break up with the good guys. That's just life.
I'm so sorry Jenna!! That is really sad, and I hope you feel better about it soon. It's good you feel like you're doing what's right for you! I think it's important to have that spark in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteSorry, lady. It's definitely more difficult to break up with the nice ones, but good for you for possessing the self-awareness to know when something is not right.
ReplyDeleteAw, I'm so sorry Jenna! I know that it's tough but don't beat yourself up about it. You did the right thing by being up front and honest with both him and yourself. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteoh girl!! i am so sorry to hear that. break ups are the worst. the absolute worst. but i think yall saved yourselves a lot MORE pain and sorrow by ending it now rather than later....LOVE!!
ReplyDeleteOh girl - my heart goes out to you! I am so sorry. But I'm proud of you for going with your gut feeling and what is right for you. Sometimes that's so hard. I broke up with my boyfriend the summer after senior year of high school due to a similar gut feeling - we were just at different places in our lives and I didn't want either of us to hold the other one back, but it was so hard because nothing was wrong, like you said, it was just my gut feeling. Hugs to you!!! xx.
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