Fun Fact of the Day!

Okay, I am about to share with you all a totally awesome and cool fun fact.

Earlier this week, I discovered that I am the ONLY Jenna in my entire company!

My company employs over one thousand people and has locations all over the globe.

But I am the one, sole, and only Jenna.

And that makes me feel incredibly special.

Strange things I buy

About once each week, I like to peruse my local Pier 1.

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It is difficult for me to describe the joy I feel once I enter that shop and the signature ding-dong rings the moment I step on the automated floor mat.

It's just bliss. Sheer bliss.

I just love the scent, the beautiful colors, the colorful products...it's all so happy and uplifting.

I usually don't find anything that I have to have (or can afford), but last night, I came across something that I inexplicably could not leave the store without.

This guy.

Isn't he so cute? He is a flying pig piggy bank, and his name is Pierre!

I am going to keep my lucky pennies inside him.

I think he is also appropriate since Cincinnati's mascot is the flying pig!

:)

Change it up!

I am a big believer in this: if you don't like something- change it!

I cannot stand when people mope around complaining about different aspects of their lives but make no effort to improve the situation.

Last night, I was looking back at old blog posts and moaning, "I used to be so skinny! Ughhhh why did I let myself get this way?!"

Skinny Hufflepuff. Le sigh.

Etc, etc. You know, just lots of groaning about my current weight.

I had become one of those people.

It made me stop and think about other areas of my life that I'd like to change up but instead choose to just talk about how dissatisfied I am.

Here are things I am constantly talking about but never actually improving:

• Budgeting my evening time better
• Writing more of my novel
• Losing weight (!!!!)
• Live in the moment. Stop dwelling on the past. Also- concentrate on people I am talking to and matters I am discussing rather than daydreaming about something else. Possibly allocate a part of my day to daydreaming? 
• Go to church every Sunday

So I am going to cease my moaning and try to make a difference in these areas.

If you catch me complaining on this blog (or any other social media site where we are acquainted), please call me out.

I'll deserve it!

Four day weekends agree with me.

I truly do not understand why every work week doesn't run from Monday through Wednesday!

I've been enjoying a fantastic Thanksgiving "break."

I left work at 2PM on Wednesday. Unfortunately, my early dismissal wasn't because of the holiday but instead related to my afternoon doctor's visit. But that's okay.

That evening, Ben had some people over for appetizers and drinks before we headed to our favorite bar downtown, Japp's. Ben may have fallen asleep during his own shindig. He seriously cannot stay awake past 11PM on days he has worked. Poor guy.

At Japp's, we ran into all sorts of old and new friends. The night was a total blast. Amazing dancing (lots of Michael Jackson), delicious drinks (kamikaze was my drink choice for the evening), and great company!

I slept it a little bit the next morning before going to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. We had my dad's side of the family over and enjoyed amazing food and great conversation. I have concluded that my favorite Thanksgiving items are green bean casserole and ham (yes- we have ham and turkey).

Isn't the resemblance uncanny?! This worked for about 15 minutes before Ellie went crazy again. She spent Thanksgiving afternoon in a neighbor's garage.

After our guests left, I took a long bath and read The Glass Castle all night. It was so cozy and relaxing. I had not made reading time for myself in waaaay too long, and I had forgotten how amazing it is to lose yourself in a book.

Friday morning, I woke up to finish The Glass Castle. If you haven't read this memoir by Jeannette Walls, you must! My jaw was hanging open at some scenes. Jeannette Walls' life is just totally indescribable...!

Around lunchtime, Ben, Rachel, and I traveled to one of our favorite Indian restaurants where we had the buffet. I love Indian buffets as I get to try all sorts of dishes I probably wouldn't normally order.

After lunch, Rachel and I headed to Target. Most of the crazy Black Friday shoppers were gone for the day, which was très awesome. In typical Jenna fashion, everything I bought was for myself and nothing  was on sale.

It should also be noted that my family members keep giving me wishy-washy responses when I probe them about their Christmas lists.

AHEM.

So anyway. Shopping was nice.

Friday evening, I got drinks with one of my dearest and closest friends that I only see a few times each year. This friend is one amazing girl- she is a photojournalism major, and quote me now, I just know she is going to be famous one day. She just has that aura about her, you know?

The two of us got drinks at a really swanky bar downtown. It was built during the Art Deco era, and I just cannot even explain how beautiful it looked with all of its Christmas decorations up! I would have taken more photos, but I was trying to be classy and fit in.

After drinks, we ventured over to Fountain Square to admire the Christmas tree and skating rink. Cincinnati is looking gorgeous for the holiday season!

We ended our night at Ben's where we drank wine, ate shrimp cocktail, and watched "The Millionaire Matchmaker." Addicting.

Oh, and Bill with the red hair? I am in love with you, and I would appreciate your wit unlike the Vegas cocktail waitress.

Moving on.

I worked at the salon on Saturday. It was a busy but fun day. I'll admit- I needed a great day at the salon. My last few Saturdays had been pretty overwhelming and not so awesome shifts, and this awesome day reminded me of why I love working there.

After work, I went to a Cajun restaurant for dinner with Rachel, Ben, and Mike. Ben had gator (!) while Rachel and I ordered hurricanes in a nod to NOLA. We each tried a piece of gator though so I think that was brave.

I came home and read Marjane Satrapi's graphic novel Embroideries, which is all about Iranian women and sex. As is Satrapi's usual, the graphic novel was amusing, funny, and thought-provoking. I am a huge Satrapi fan.

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I had an excellent night of sleep before waking up this morning around 9:30. I am currently enjoying a foamy cappucino. This afternoon, I am taking my "little sister" out to lunch and fro-yo, and tonight, I am going to my parents to decorate the Christmas tree!

I want a four day weekend EVERY week, please.

Oh, and this was my first time ever having paid holidays. I hope I never forgot how cool it is to be vegging around the house or celebrating with family while being paid. It's really such a luxury that I am going to make an effort to always appreciate.

Happy official beginning of the Christmas season!

WHAT are these bites?!

Alright, bloggers.

SO.

Remember how I posted about those giant (presumably) spider bites waaaay back in October? And then posted again how I discovered over five thriving webs in my bedroom and sprayed spider killing spray all over?

Well. The bites went away for about one week. So I thought I was victorious. I could just imagine those spiders holding up a tiny, white flag in surrender (which is a sort of cute image, isn't it?) as they marched out of my bedroom.

Then. The bites came back.

Bigger and worse than EVER.

Freaking out, I scheduled a doctor's appointment to get a professional's opinion as to what these bites could be. The doctor was also clueless as to what the bites were from. He said they didn't look like bed bugs (I've had my mattress checked for those) but also noted that spiders generally do not bite unless provoked.

"Well. I don't know if I've upset the spiders or not," I pointed out to him. "I did destroy their webs."

He noted this was a valid point.

The doctor thinks these bumps may not even be bites but an allergic reaction. They have only appeared on my arms, and Rachel has strangely not been bit once in the six weeks I've been experiencing these red bumps. Whatever is happening to me is definitely contained to my bedroom. 

I left the office on the verge of tears. I was just so frustrated. I am also a huge worrier. Most of all, I wanted an explanation behind my unsightly bumps.

My sweet mum arranged for an exterminator to come inspect my apartment on Tuesday, and I feel hopeful that he will have some answers for me. I don't care what is going on- I just want to fix it, you know?

Bugs- if you are reading this, please stop biting me. I am in a wedding in a few weeks, and I cannot be waltzing down the aisle with red bumps all over my arms.

UGH.

Oops. I did it again.

Yesterday afternoon, I tackled a very overdue task- cleaning out the trunk of my Camry.

When I moved out of my campus house all the way back in June, I literally tossed all sorts of things into that trunk.

Since some of those miscellaneous items were Christmas decorations, I knew that sifting through the mess was no longer avoidable.

I found a pair of leggings. Two blankets. A picture frame. 

Most notably? I found the scale I had been avoiding for MONTHS.

So there, in my parents' driveway, wearing my shoes (!) and having eaten already for the day, I stepped on the scale.

The number was horrifying.

It was a number I hadn't seen since February 2011.

I am too embarrassed to share that number on this blog, but let's just say that I am dangerously close to my "fat" number. Like...really, really close.

Morosely, I carried my stupid scale inside the house with me and sat glumly on the steps to think about the state of my life.

Ellie set her head on my fat leg lovingly. I texted Rachel the number. She told me not to worry, that we could both get back on track, and that I still looked great. It was nice.

So, bloggers. Tomorrow I have to get SERIOUS.

Ughhhhhhhhhh- how could I let myself get back to this weight?!

Le sigh!

I ran a 5K. And I didn't die.

About three weeks ago, I was visiting at my parents' house when the doorbell rang.

It was my sweet, little neighbor from next-door.

"Would you like to run a 5K with me?" she asked, as she explained the program she had been training with, which was Girls on the Run. "I need a running buddy, and I wanted to ask you!"

I was so beyond flattered.

So despite the fact that I am one of the most out-of-shape individuals ever, I immediately replied, "Yes! I would love to!"

-*-

Yesterday morning, my alarm went off at 7AM.

It was time for me to get ready and run three miles. 

Since the race was taking place downtown, I was able to walk to the event.

I couldn't believe how beautiful my neighborhood was at 8AM. I wondered if maybe everything appeared more glorious right before one was about to die. 

When I got to the race location, I quickly found my neighbors.

Girls on the Run had SUCH fun booths set up. We had glitter sprayed into our hair. We made tiaras. 

If I was to perish during this three mile run, I figured this was a fun way to spend my last few moments on earth.

Then, it was time to line up behind the finish line.

The DJ was playing fun, upbeat music, and everyone was pumped to go!

After Nicki Minaj's "Starships" concluded, it was 10AM- we were off and running!

The little girl did AWESOME during the race and only had to slow down a few times (I'll admit- I was grateful for those moments). I tried not to think about my heavy breathing (AKA panting) and just kept running.

I have never been so happy to see a finish line in my entire life.

I felt a little sick to my stomach once we had finished under 32 minutes (very good for our first 5K, I think!), but I kept my composure (and my breakfast). 

As unpleasant as I had felt during that final mile of the race, I felt so proud of myself for having completed a 5K. I thanked the little girl for asking me to be her running buddy and told her I would have never done something like this on my own!

"Do you think you're going to keep running?" she asked.

"Nope. I'm sticking to walking."

Seriously. I am.

My Awkward Life

This evening, I was leaving REI with a heavy heart. I was unsuccessful in finding the Patagonia pullover I wanted. They only had one medium left, and I wanted a large for a more relaxed fit. Sigh.

I held open the impressive (and heavy!) door for a couple and their adorable bebe on my way out of the store.

"He is so cute! I love his coat. He looks so warm!" I smiled as the bebe was wearing the most darling light blue parka.

The woman looked at me funny (almost insulted) before replying, "He's actually seventeen months old."

"Um...that's awesome!" I awkwardly replied, unsure as to why she jumped right to his age. Or why she looked so peeved.

And then, walking to my car, I realized that the woman had thought I said, "He looks like he was just born."

Like I was insulting the size of her precious bebe.

In happier news, I came home and purchased my pullover just fine from the Patagonia website. Now I just have to wait up to twelve days for it to arrive on my doorstep.

This was THE softest, most wonderful coat when I tried it on in the store. COME TO ME SOON, P!!

Patience is a virtue.

"Chiiiiiiiiiips!"

As I mentioned in my previous post, I spent last Saturday night babysitting the kids I was a nanny for this past summer.

I also was in charge of two neighborhood children, one of which was a darling three-year-old boy.

Around 10:15PM, he ran up to me with a bag of Lays potato chips.

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"Chips!" he said merrily, holding up the yellow bag.

"Nope. No chips. It's too late," I said casually, taking the bag from him and placing it on the countertop. "Besides, you already had Cheez-Its and a popsicle, remember?"

The little boy was OUTRAGED.

"CHIIIIIIIIIIIPS!" He began to hysterically cry, making me want to hysterically laugh. "CHIIIIIIIIIPS!"

He then proceeded to run to the kitchen where he looked up at the countertop longingly, clearing wishing for that magical yellow bag of Lays to fall into his hands.

"CHIIIIIIIPS! HUUUUUUNGRY!" he continued to bawl.

"If you're hungry, I can cut you up some fruit. Or you can have cheese or yogurt." I told the furious child.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" He angrily replied, crying all the harder.

I let him be for a few minutes.

After sobbing, he curled himself up in a ball beside the countertop and started to softly cry, "Chiiiiiiiips. Chiiiiiiiiiiiips."

Funniest thing of my entire life.

"How about Danimals and a pack of fruit snacks?" I suggested, not wanting the poor boy to be emotionally scarred from the whole ordeal.

He agreed to this compromise and then fell asleep shortly after.

Begging for chips can be very exhausting, you know!

A Working Girl Kind of Weekend

Oh, man.

Bloggers, I am exhausted.

After work Friday evening, I got in a good workout (finally!) and then headed north to babysit the kids I was a nanny for this summer. I was so excited to see them!

I was even more excited when the little girl informed me that she had received "The Parent Trap" for her birthday and asked if we could watch it.

BEST MOVIE EVER.

I sincerely hope that I can one day tell someone, "I have class, and you don't."

Anyway, around 8:45, the kids said, "We're really tired."

"Okay! Let's bring all of the pillows and blankets down here and camp out!" I suggested brightly. "We can make a fort!"

"Um, can't we just go to bed?" the sleepy, little girl asked.

I was secretly totally bummed.

When I finally got home that night, I saw that I had received my cousin's beautiful wedding invitation in the mail. I love receiving wedding invitations.

Saturday, I worked at the salon from 9-4.

It was not a good day as I was yelled at by a very angry mother-of-the-bride. I won't get into specifics as I don't think it is professional to speak about the incident outside of work, but I'll just say that receptionists of all kinds often end up as scapegoats for any problem a client may have even though that problem often has nothing to do with the front desk person at all.

I was very stressed out and frazzled after the incident, and I had an awful day because of it. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me, but to be honest, I just felt really knocked off my game for the remainder of the day.

After I got off work, I drove back up north to babysit the same family for a second night in a row.

Gosh, was I ever happy to see my bed when I got home last night.

This morning, I slept in until 9:40AM. It was wonderful.

Remember how I was getting spider bites back in the middle of October? Well, those bites have not stopped, and I wasn't exactly being very proactive about the problem. Annoyed, my dad dropped off a spider-killing spray and instructed me to get on the problem ASAP.

My parents are probably tired of seeing my arms look like this.

Anyway. I moved almost everything up on my bed this morning and sprayed my exposed brick wall. Then, I sprayed along all of the baseboards and windows.

Afterwards, I vacuumed and dusted.

That is when I found FIVE (!!!!) spider webs. I practically had a village in here! Gross, gross, gross!

I plan to spend the rest of the day decorating my now (hopefully) spider-free and clean bedroom for Christmas, painting my nails, and reading blogs.

I desperately want a Starbucks' Peppermint Mocha, but I am feeling too lazy to leave my apartment for the duration of this day.

It may have been a tiring and busy weekend, but I now have enough money saved for this!

Nordstrom is going to think I am another kind of "working girl" when I hand my cash over for this beauty.

"Babysitting money," I'll reply.

The time I thought I was going to die at work

Earlier this week, I was having a lot of stomach cramps. They were relatively minor though, and I didn't think much of them.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a very uncomfortable feeling stomach. I was not nauseous. I felt just like my entire abdomen ached.

I attributed it to all of the appetizers I had eaten the night before in addition to a few glasses of our bipartisan wine and left for work thinking my stomachache would eventually subside.

As the day progressed though, my stomachache grew worse and worse.

I took a few Tums. A coworker gave me Ibuprofen.

Nothing was working, and my aches were growing worse by the minute.

I kept imagining something in my stomach on the verge of explosion. Would I die in my cubicle? Should I delete the history from all of my personal electronic devices now?

As if you wouldn't want to do the same!

Around 1:30, I was helping a coworker with a project when my pain became almost unbearable. I wanted to throw up or pass out. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the abdomen repeatedly (It felt just as violent as that image sounds!).

I told her how sick I was feeling, and she kindly encouraged me to go home.

Except I felt so silly leaving work for stomach pains. Something is just so embarrassing about leaving work sick!

Around 2:30 though, I knew I couldn't deal with the pain any longer.

My boss was in a meeting so I sent him a brief email saying that I was feeling unwell and would make up my missed hours today and Friday.

Thank God for flextime! And nice coworkers!

My fifteen minute drive home felt like hours. I couldn't even listen to music. I felt so so miserable.

Once home, I collapsed into bed, not even bothering to change out of my work clothes.

And then I did something smart and practical.

Cried.

Oh, and pondered once again if this was the end for me.

Eventually I was able to fall asleep, and I woke up feeling significantly better. My stomach was still feeling achey but the cramps were dull rather than sharp.

My mom thinks I may have had a ruptured ovarian cyst. She herself had one several years ago, and the symptoms were almost exactly the same as my own. I've done further research, and other women's experiences sound remarkably similar to mine.

Whatever the cause, I am very happy to be feeling better today and will certainly be making a doctor's appointment to have everything checked out.

Oh, and I am really glad I didn't die at work, home, or anywhere else for that matter.

"What's on my mind" Wednesday

I love writing random tidbit posts.

And I think this "What's on my mind" Wednesday may become a weekly tradition.

Although I'm fairly awful at sticking to weekly posts so it's unlikely.

Here is what's on my mind this Wednesday, November 7, 2012.

1. I wrote this pre-wrote this post Monday night so the winner of the election is still unknown. Considering how close the polls have been, I am predicting a mess reminiscent of the 2004 election. I guess by the time you're reading this, we'll know either way!

2. I have purchased two fantastic Kate Spade items over the past month. The first, my "brushstroke" clutch, found its way to me through my KS angel- Fais. Fais is one of my friends through Blogger and after she posted a photo of her own "brushstroke" clutch, I commented how I had to have one. Fais informed that the clutch was sold out online, but she went to work the next day on a mission. Fais, who works for Kate Spade, managed to track one down for me across the country! She put it on hold in my name, and the clutch arrived at my humble Cincinnati abode within a week. It was spectacular. THANK YOU, Faison!

After my disastrous Thursday night at the concert and my poor iPhone's fall on the sidewalk, my case was pretty banged up. I ended up purchasing this turquoise silicone case. I am obsessed with the slot in the back for holding various cards (license, credit cards, etc), and I adore the tiny spade on the side of the case. Amazing purchase.

3. I have been drinking a cup of Celestial Sleeptime Tea every night before bed. I cannot get over the adorable bear in his pajamas on the box, and I honestly believe I've been sleeping better.

Insanely adorable.

4. I am having a difficult time budgeting my evenings. I have so much I want to do once I get off work (exercise, eat dinner, write blog posts, read blog posts, hang out with Rachel and Ben, read, write!), and I never fit it all in. I have been doing almost no reading, and it's making me feel awful! I don't think I've read a book in over a month.

5. Daylight Savings Time is awesome but weird. I love the light in the mornings, but I always forget how strange it feels to see the night sky at 6PM.

6. I love having a "little sister." We've only been paired for about six weeks now, but it's already been an incredible and rewarding experience for me. I have such a blast hanging out with my little sister, and I can't wait to get to know her even better!

7. I wish our amazing clawfoot tub got hotter water. I am dying to take a bubble bath!

What's on your mind this Wednesday?

Four years

Maybe it's only me, but I think presidential elections serve as periodic reminders of just how quickly time flies by and how much change can occur over a single presidential term.

During our last presidential election, I was living in Chicago. I was a freshman at DePaul University and terribly homesick. My golden retriever, Nikki, had just recently passed away, and I was still hurting from her sudden loss. I was losing touch with my high school friends. We didn't click so much anymore, and I didn't know if it was okay to let go and embrace the new friends I had made in Chicago. I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted to do and was struggling to find the right major. I was dating Ben and felt sure I had found my soulmate. I was a staunch Republican who wore a tshirt that read "McCainiac" proudly.

Seriously. I did. 

I wore it in public.

The VERY first photo I took on my Macbook. Circa September 2008.

Now, only four years later, I am back in my hometown of Cincinnati. I am living with Rachel, a girl who went from being a casual friend in high school to one of my absolute dearest and closest friends I'll ever have. I have a new dog- my goldendoodle, Ellie. I have graduated with my B.A. in English and have a career in medical writing. I love my job and coworkers and feel as though my life is on the right path. I am working on a novel I am proud and excited about. I am single, but as a hopeless romantic, I believe my "One" is out there somewhere ("One"- please stop hiding and come out soon...going to weddings alone is growing increasingly traumatic). I consider myself an Independent. My ballot will be have both Democrats and Republicans on it.

Circa 2012. Confident and mature woman.

All of that change happened over a mere four years.

Sort of mind-boggling, isn't it?

One thing that hasn't changed? I still use the same Ikea pillows.

Yep. For real.

Happy Election Day, bloggers! I hope everyone has short voting lines and makes well-informed and educated selections! Ben, Rachel, and I will be enjoying patriotic cocktails and these leftover Election cookies that my little sister, Ben, and I baked last night.

Yum.

Why thank you, Mom!

I was at home Saturday evening when my mom said, "Come upstairs. I have a surprise for you."

Surprise?

Obviously I was intrigued.

"I saw on your blog that you wanted a diamond necklace." My mom rummaged through her jewelry drawer as my breathing sped up and my heart beat faster. "Now that you're officially an adult, I think it's time you had this."

And then my sweet, sweet mom gave me a beautiful solitaire diamond necklace.

It was the necklace my dad had given her many Christmases ago. He had bought her a gorgeous jewelry box she had been lusting after, and when she opened the top, he had a diamond necklace waiting inside.

"This is a very special necklace, and I want you to have it," she smiled, handing it to me.

Bloggers, this is easily one of the most wonderful and sentimental gifts I have ever received.

Thank you, Mom! <3

Oh, and I suppose I need to thank you, too, Dad!

Little things around my apartment

While I am fond of many things around my bedroom and apartment, there are some items that seem to be a bit more special than others.

Here are some of the little things around my home that always make me happy.

Okay. My bed is not so little. But it ALWAYS makes me happy.

These three books sum up my life- Shopgirl, The Devil Wears Prada, and Harry Potter :)

Oh, how I adore Jackie! This is my favorite piece of art in my apartment.

Perfume tray and jewelry box

Artwork I bought in Brussels

I LOVE seeing my necklaces on display like this!

What are the little things that make you smile around your home? :)

Walk the Moon and My Love Life

So, bloggers. I want to tell you about the Walk the Moon concert I went to last night. ALONE.

But in order to fully understand what happened at the concert, I have to share with you an excerpt from my love life.

For the most part, I have always been very general and vague when writing about my romantic adventures on this blog.

Today, I am getting real with you all.

I hope you're ready for this.

Yesterday, I was convinced that I would not be going to the concert alone. I had made my decision and was okay with it.

Then, Walk the Moon's "Anna Sun" came on my iPhone, and I knew- I had to go. I was not going to miss my favorite band just because I was afraid of looking and feeling awkward! Sure, there would be uncomfortable moments, but truly, it would be worth it.

Alright. Ready or not, here is where my horrendous love life comes into the story.

Last autumn, I had a brief fling with a guy I was totally crazy about. This guy was (okay, he still is) charming, handsome, driven, and so much fun to be around. We always had so much to talk about and would often text from morning until night. Our chemistry was amazing, and I was very attracted to him.

Let me just go all Carrie Bradshaw here, and let's call this guy "Mr. Big."

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Mr. Big happens to be the one who introduced me to Walk the Moon. During our very first time hanging out, he pulled up their "Anna Sun" video on his phone. I can still remember sitting at a little, round table in the corner of that coffee shop and thinking, I love this band! When he picked me up one night to go to a play, he made sure to turn the song on the second I got into his car. I'll be completely honest- whenever I hear "Anna Sun," the first person I think of is Mr. Big.

Right as our whirlwind romance was nearing an official relationship, Mr. Big abruptly ended things.

I was shocked and incredibly hurt.

But like all great chick-lit heroines must (because that's exactly how I view myself), I recovered.

We really didn't talk much for the next six months. We had a few awkward run-ins, but never said more than quick pleasantries.

Last May, he came to my campus house for a BBQ my roommates were hosting for their business program. We caught up some and agreed to get coffee soon. He ended up cancelling on me a few days before we were supposed to go out. I wasn't really surprised but still a little disappointed. I was mostly upset with myself as I knew deep down I had been hoping for more. I had been secretly wishing that maybe Mr. Big had changed his mind and was ready for a relationship. Maybe he wanted to be with me again.

We went another few months without speaking.

Then, about one month ago, our paths crossed once again. I was with Rachel at an alumni tailgating event for her business program before one of the UC football games. Mr. Big and I talked. The chemistry felt as real as ever, and I felt those pangs of longing once more.

"Pangs of longing"? Oh, lord. Moving on.

After the alumni event, things finally seemed to be good between us. I am not suggesting a budding relationship was on the horizon, but things were definitely not as cold as they had been before.

So! Now that you are all caught up, let's get back to yesterday and the concert.

I didn't want to run into Mr. Big ALONE at the concert as I was convinced I'd look like a huge creep so I sent him a quick text to see if he was going. Naturally, he said he would be there, and he even told me I could hang out with him and his group of friends so I wouldn't be all alone.

Very nice!

Rachel and Melvin dropped me off at the concert venue around 7:30. I was in great spirits. I was going to see my favorite band AND not be alone!

I ordered a gin and tonic and made some friends while waiting for Mr. Big to arrive. I was really having a fun time.

About half an hour later, I found Mr. Big and his group. After a quick "hello," Mr. Big essentially ignored me.

I ended up chatting with his incredibly kind best friend the entire time while watching Mr. Big talk with just about every girl except me.

I sort of wanted to cry. Okay. I really wanted to cry. And once I realized that I might actually break down, I quietly left the group.

"Are you okay?" the bouncer asked, as I made my way out the door of the concert venue.

"Yeah! Totally." I somehow managed to reply with a fake smile, the cold, November air feeling like such a relief as I emerged into the night.

That's right. I LEFT BEFORE THE BAND EVEN PERFORMED.

I got out my phone to call Rachel. Hearing her familiar voice made me want to cry even more.

"I am so sorry, Jenna. I'll be there right away!" she exclaimed.

Of course, as I went to put my iPhone away, I totally dropped it on the concrete sidewalk. And now it is minorly cracked. Because this is just how that night was destined to go.

Rachel came to retrieve me within fifteen minutes, and I had never been so happy to see her in my life.

As sad as I was last night, I am mostly angry today. Obviously I am mad at myself for missing the concert, but there are much bigger issues I need to address.

I don't know why I let myself fall for Mr. Big each and every time or why I still get so worked up over him. Things never fall together when the two of us are involved, and I'm not sure why I fool myself into thinking otherwise.

Whew. That may have been THE longest blog post I've ever written. Hopefully you're all still reading although I wouldn't blame you if you closed this window ages ago.

So anyway.

I guess now we all know what happens when you attend concerts alone...!