"You're gonna make it after all!"

As of last Tuesday, I am a part-time graduate student.

Ta ta ta.

I was so excited to start classes once again and be back on campus.

I signed up for two courses this semester. Both are evening classes, which works out great with my work schedule.

After my first week in class, I felt exhilarated.

"My professors are incredible! My classes are small! The material is fascinating!"

These were all things I was enthusiastically proclaiming to anyone who would listen to me.

I was on a grad school high.

"I just feel like myself again," I told my dad. "Since graduating from undergrad...I finally feel like myself again."

On Sunday, I opened my binders back up and got to work on my assignments.

And then...I fell down the rabbit hole.

And I wasn't even wearing a pretty, blue dress like Alice in Wonderland.

Besides a few readings and a response, my professor had given us a project with the instructions: Do not spend more than four hours on this.

Lovely, lovely.

I chose a topic and quickly got to work!

...except then? I found myself about ten hours deep in the material with the end no where in sight.

I was so obsessed with producing the perfect project, it was as though I wasn't even thinking straight.

When 11PM on Monday night hit, and I still wasn't satisfied with my project, tears might have been shed. Maybe.

"Oh my God. I must be an idiot!" I thought in horror. "I have spent nearly fifteen hours on a four hour assignment...clearly I am stupid, and I am just now realizing it. It took the first week of grad school until I realized how dumb I am."

Luckily, I have amazing parents, awesome coworkers, and supportive friends- all who told me that grad school was a tough transition, and that I just had some wrinkles to smooth out, but that I would be okay.

I went to class yesterday evening trying to hold my head high (and desperately attempting to conceal the heavy bags under my eyes).

When I arrived, my classmates were deep in discussion.

"...I spent way more than four hours on that assignment!"

"I actually just quit after ten..."

I WASN'T ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eagerly, I joined in.

By the time our professor arrived, I realized that everyone had had the same struggles as I had experienced!

Our professor sighed, "I really meant what I said about four hours! You all should have stopped when you reached that time point. I never want you to freak out like that!"

Relief, relief, relief.

Oh, sweet relief.

Class was just as amazing and interesting as the previous week, and I continuously found myself thinking throughout the three hours, "This is fantastic. This is exactly where I belong."

Walking home last night, I scrolled through my iPod song list until I located The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song.

I wanted to toss my hat into the air (such a shame I look fat in hats) in that busy, Cincinnati intersection and declare, "You're gonna make it after all, Jenna!"

via

Who can turn the world on with her smile? 
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? 
Well it's you girl, and you should know it 
With each glance and every little movement you show it 

Love is all around, no need to waste it 
You can have a town, why don't you take it 
You're gonna make it after all 
You're gonna make it after all