The Great Chicken Hunt

Grocery shopping is one of my favorite activities.

I love eating, and I love food.

So naturally, I quite enjoy trips to Kroger.

via

Tonight, I stopped by a Kroger location that I'm not very familiar with. I've only been to this Kroger a handful of times and to make matters worse? The entire store was under construction!

It was a bit of a nightmare navigating my way through my list.

"Excuse me?" I said to the butcher once I had made it to meat section. "Do you know where the lemon herb chicken is?"

He scratched his head and thought for a moment.

"Uh, it comes in a bag...about this big?" I motioned awkwardly with my hands.

"Honey, I don't think we have anything like that. Who makes it?"

"Kroger! I buy it every week!"

He nodded, but I could tell he still wasn't exactly following me. We walked around the meat section together, poking our heads into freezers and leaning over cases as he held up bag after bag of frozen chicken, none of which was my beloved lemon herb variety.

He was quite a character, to be honest.

But I probably would have found his jokes more humorous if I had a bag of chicken in my possession.

"Shoot. I don't know what to tell you," he shrugged helplessly. "If you still can't find it later, come back over here, and I'll get my boss. But...I just don't think we have that chicken."

Really? I'm not buying that, butcher.

"No big deal!" I waved my hand as if this wasn't a care in the world when in fact, it was a huge care in the world. An absolute monstrosity. I ate that chicken all of the time. I would have to go to another Kroger to get it! This was so terrible. "Thanks anyway!"

I finished my shopping and then weaved my way back through the aisles, now determined to find this stupid chicken.

I would show him! Lemon herb chicken did exist in microwavable breast form!

And suddenly...there it was. Next to the Teriyaki chicken in one of the frozen aisles, a bit hidden in the chaos of the construction.

I greedily grabbed a bag, tempted to hug it to my chest.

Then, I hurried back to the meat department, eager to show the butcher what I had found.

"Look!" I practically shouted, startling the poor man who was stocking one of the cases. "I FOUND IT!"

"Well, look at that! It does exist!" he laughed, shaking his head. "You aren't one of those secret shoppers, right? Because I'd be in big trouble considering I was absolutely no help to you. And told you we didn't even carry that stuff."

"I wish," I sighed, "but really, I cannot tell you how happy I am. I love this chicken. I really, really love this chicken."

I then basically gave an ode to Kroger lemon herb chicken, and the butcher nodded in appreciation.

After I finished my speech, he gave me a high five.

"Whoa there! Sorry. That was harder than I meant it to be!" he exclaimed. "Probably because I work out."

"Don't high five her that hard! She's a girl!" Another butcher called out.

"I can take it. I work out, too," I replied evenly, my I went to all-girls school so don't you dare say anything chauvinistic to me attitude emerging. "Thank you for your help earlier."

"I am just glad you found your chicken. See ya next time!" he waved, as I made my way towards the checkout.

Weirdly, I think I will be going back to that Kroger.