Freshman Year of Adult Life

Somehow, it is already the sixth day of February, and I've not yet written a single post.

My future self is not going to be pleased about that.

Of course, my current self isn't too thrilled either.

But on to the post! Which, I must warn you, isn't the most uplifting of prose.

For quite a while now, I've been feeling pretty down.

Okay. Confession time. I've actually been feeling pretty sad since last June.

I've been struggling to deal with the incredible amount of changes that come with the end of undergrad and the beginning of "adult" life. It makes me feel like I'm some sort of freshman all over again, desperately trying to assimilate and fit in.

New apartment, new friends, new job.

It's just a lot to take in and handle.

I am constantly thinking back on last year, when my biggest concern was if I would finish my paper in time to go out on a Thursday night or maybe worrying if I would sleep through my alarm before one of my Saturday shifts at the salon.

I slept in at least two or three days each week, and every evening I came home to a dining room table surrounded by friends.

A typical night at our campus dining room table

I especially love to reminisce about the Friday evenings Rachel and I would spend at the campus rec center. We would go around 6:30 or 7 and practically have the place all to ourselves. We would use elliptical machines or treadmills that were right next to each other and gossip during our entire workout. We would discuss which boys we were currently interested in, where we were going that night, and which classes were driving us mad.

Those evenings at the gym will always be some of my most favorite memories.

I know that I have so many new and exciting things to look forward to in the future.

I am so thankful for my full-time job, family, and friends. I realize how incredibly fortunate I am.

But still, I continue to struggle getting my feel of this new world and figure out what my role in it will be.

I really hope I start to feel like myself again soon.