My First Speeding Ticket

This past weekend, I journeyed up to Cleveland to attend a wedding with a friend of mine.

I had a total blast and hopped into my Corolla to head home around 5:30 or so, Sunday evening.

Traffic was pretty dense until I made it past Columbus.

Then? The highway was my oyster! Wide, open roads ahead!

I was singing along to the Kinky Boots soundtrack having a grand time when suddenly, I saw him.

A police cruiser crouching down in the median.

I glanced at my speedometer.

I was doomed. So, so doomed.

I tried to casually slow down, but I knew I was in for it.

My stomach dropped as I saw the lights come on, and I slowly made my way to pull off to the side of the road.

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Hands shaking and fighting back tears (big girls don't cry and all), I reached for my wallet and took out my license in addition to my car's registration.

I rolled down my passenger side window, and the police officer shone his flashlight into my car.

I had the audio book of Tina Fey's Bossypants sitting out on the seat. I hoped that made me appear likable.

He told me how fast I had been going.

I am too mortified to report that number on this blog, but let's just say I was doing some serious cruising in the fast lane.

The officer took my information and retreated back into his car as I stared at the open road ahead, contemplating the state of my life and desperately trying not to cry.

"You are an adult," I murmured to myself, "and adults do not cry."

When the officer came back, he shone his flashlight into my car once more and sighed, "Well, I have some unfortunate news for you..."

OH MY GOD. I WAS TOTALLY BEING SENT TO THE SLAMMER.

"...you got pulled over in a very expensive county. This ticket is going to be a fortune."

And it was.

$240.

But it was not going to jail, and I appreciated that.

The officer was kind to me and tried to make polite conversation as he wrote out that horrible three digit bill I now owed to the state of Ohio, but all I wanted was for him to leave so I could openly sob.

After a final lecture regarding cruise control and hitting deer, I was permitted to go.

"My parents are going to kill me!" I cried as any 23-year-old adult would.

And then...my Bluetooth changed screens.

HOME CALLING.

Oh my GOD- they already knew! They totally already knew.

"Hey Jenna! Are you back in Cincinnati yet?" my dad's cheerful voice played over the speakers.

Okay. He definitely didn't know.

I reported my transgression and very fortunately didn't receive a reprimand.

I suppose my parents thought a $240 speeding ticket was enough of a punishment.

No Kate Spade bags for me for a while. And definitely no more crazy speeding.

Lesson learned!