"It's like we're in Little House on the Prairie!"

When I arrived home from my salon shift Saturday evening, I noticed a weird noise coming from our family room vent.

"Junky apartment," I grumbled, turning off the heat. I figured it probably just needed a little rest and would be good to go in a little bit. Our apartment was built in 1890 so I usually am okay with cutting it some slack.

I mean, when I am 113 years old, I hope people do the same for me.

But anyways.

I turned the furnace back on before bed and went to sleep.

Sunday morning, I awoke to a strange smell. I also noticed that the thermostat was only at 63 degrees when I had set the temperature to 70 many hours earlier.

I texted Rachel, my eternal lifesaver in all things practical (and otherwise), that I thought our furnace might be calling it quits.

She said she would look at it when she got home, and sure enough, she called while I was babysitting that evening to confirm that yes, the furnace was indeed broken.

Bloggers, that was Sunday night.

It is now Tuesday night, and we still have no heat.

The first night I had to spend in this frozen tundra?

Not so awful.

I felt adventurous! I kept imagining some of my favorite Little House on the Prairie scenes. Would Pa be bringing more wood soon? Oh, I hoped Mr. Edwards would make it home through the snow storm in time for Christmas!

I realize none of that makes sense. So I'll move on.

We were blessed with an extremely mild February day yesterday so last night wasn't unbearable either.

Tonight though?

Tonight it is cold. Uncomfortably so.

I will be spending my evening and night over at Ben's warm and cozy apartment, watching this week's episode of Girls and making our own Jamba Juice Razzmatazz smoothies.

Smoothies! I know.

Ridiculous.

The Great Debate

As Rachel and my June 1st move-out date draws nearer, I've started to do some serious thinking about where I want to live next.

I am totally conflicted between signing another lease or moving back home.

I feel like I am getting to a point in my life where I'd enjoy living alone, but living solo is expensive.

Could I comfortably afford to live alone? Yes.

Would I be saving much money towards a future down payment for a condo or house? No. Not at all.

Right now, I am starting to lean towards moving home with my parents. Here is a little list I've put together of the advantages and disadvantages of admitting defeat and returning to my purple childhood bedroom.

Future roommates?

Moving Home
Pros

• Free rent! I could buy at least one luxury item each month (Oh, how my shoe and handbag collections would grow!) and still be saving hundreds of dollars to put towards buying something in the long run. I could also afford to travel more often!
• Clean and cozy living environment
• Ellie
• Mum and Dad (Since Ben is going to college this autumn, I'd have them all to myself and could work at establishing myself as the favorite child)
• Soaking tub and fancy shower
• Much better food than I buy
• Treadmill
• Luxurious living accommodations compared to where I am now living

Cons

• LOCATION!!!! My parents live in a part of town that I really do not like. There are no good restaurants or shopping nearby, and I would have a 45 minute commute to work! Ugh! If I ever wanted to go out for the night, I'd have to either not partake in the drinking fun or have a place to stay for the evening.
• Loss of independence and freedom
• Dealing with the "I've taken a step backwards" mentality
• Having to tell people, "I live with my parents."

Oh, bloggers.

I just don't know what I should do.

Any advice?

A Singleton's Valentine's Day

Okay, bloggers. So this was a hard post for me to write.

I cannot tell you how many times I wrote a few paragraphs, stopped, shook my head in agony, and then held down the backspace key. 

At first, I wrote an incredibly positive and cheerful Valentine's Day post. Valentine's Day is a holiday which celebrates love of all kinds! 

That's just what people say to make single people feel better about themselves, I thought, rolling my eyes.

Delete.

I then wrote an incredibly dark and bitter post. Valentine's Day sucks! I thought of all of the couples out there celebrating. Obviously, the women in these scenarios were all wearing beautiful Kate Spade cocktail dresses with matching heels, and the men had on crisp button-down shirts with perfectly ironed slacks. Fizzy champagne, Frank Sinatra over the Bose speaker system, couples feeding one another chocolate-covered fruits...as I sat in my apartment. Alone. Listening to Edith Piaf in my worn Old Navy lounge pants and an oversized t-shirt, having probably just eaten an entire bag of Dove chocolates (fed to myself by myself).

Whoa. CALM DOWN, Jenna. Calm. Down.

Delete, delete, delete.

Then, I actually took a moment to think about Valentine's Day.

More times than not -okay, 95% of the time- I am single on Valentine's Day, so I believe myself to be a bit of an expert when it comes to explaining what the day is like for a singleton. At least a singleton such as myself, anyway.

I love getting to wear pink and red for the day. I enjoy heart-shaped candies. I think boxes of chocolate are just wonderful...I always regret it when I look at the insert at all of the flavors and their respective locations inside the box. The surprise is much more fun!

But I'll be honest here, and I hope my honesty isn't mistaken as being negative or self-pitying. 

As someone who loves holidays, I feel a bit left out of Valentine's Day.

The glum feelings I have on Valentine's Day aren't attributed to being alone or lonely, exactly, but they're instead related to feeling somehow excluded from a celebration. It's a bummer not having a boyfriend to make plans with or exchange gifts between on this day. I always feel like I only get to celebrate Valentine's Day to a certain extent. It's as though I don't have full access to the holiday.

Sure, people say that Valentine's Day is not limited to love of the romantic variety, but let's be real here. Hallmark and Godiva aren't making millions today off people celebrating friendship.

Tonight, I am planning on coming home from work and changing into my most comfortable clothes. I am going to enjoy a nice bottle of red wine along with an array of fancy cheeses. I'm going to watch one of my favorite movies. Right now, I am leaning towards watching both Bridget Jones movies back-to-back or perhaps "Love Actually."

Because at the end of the day, singleton or not, when Hugh Grant states with total confidence, "Love actually is all around"?

I believe him. I totally believe him.

I'm still trying to figure out where my own romantic love is hiding, but I know he is out there somewhere.

And maybe, just maybe, he'll make an appearance before Valentine's Day 2014.

Gosh- maybe he is even BRITISH!*

*Note to God- if this is the case, all of these Valentine's Days spent alone were completely acceptable.

Put your beads away. Lent has begun!

Happy Ash Wednesday!

Ash Wednesday 2012. Good times.

This day always makes me think of a time, many years ago, when my Baptist grandma was babysitting my brothers and me. When we arrived home from school, my grandma exclaimed, "Where have you kids been? You have dirt on your faces!"

She then tried to scrub our foreheads clean.

We thought that was just hilarious.

I've always enjoyed the season of Lent.

And not just because it gives me an excuse to dine on some superb seafood and veggie pizzas.

I love the self-examination that comes with the season and the idea of bettering myself in the time leading up to Easter. Of course, as a lover or lists and resolutions, I am also a fan of Lenten promises.

I know, I know...I should do these things all of the time, not just during Lent.

But don't rain on my Lenten parade, okay?

1. Go to mass every week. I've gotten into quite a bad habit of skipping church over the past year or so. I probably only go once every six weeks, which is pathetic, and I know it affects my mood for the worse.
2. Only drink alcohol one night weekly. Time to cut down on the vino!
3. No more pop! With free fountain soda at my workplace, this one is going to be tough! I am trying to replace the pop with water. Good for the skin and waistline, right?
4. Before I go to bed each night, thank God for something positive that happened during my day. I've always been faithful about my nightly prayers, but I often feel as though they are mainly petitions and calls to God for help. I need to be more grateful for what I already have and stop asking for more.

Those are my four mighty Lenten promises. I think numbers 2 and 3 will be the toughest to keep, but hopefully I can stick it out for the next 40 days!

Here I go again!

Today marks my 8731238th attempt to lose weight.

I've decided to reintroduce the same habits I embraced a few years ago when I lost nearly 40 pounds.

• Limit my calories to 1200/daily (excluding fruits and vegetables)
• No eating after dinner
• Exercise for at least 1 hour each day

...and that was all I did.

Boring, I know.

But it was a routine that I personally found easy to stay committed to, and it worked really well for me!

Here are some of my favorite "healthy" foods while I'm trying to slim down.

• Oatmeal
• Laughing Cow and Wheat Thins (together, always)
• Pickles 
• Soups 
• Lean Cuisines (obviously)
• Crystal Light (not technically a food, I know)

Below are the goals (and rewards!) I've set for myself.

• 5 pounds: Manicure
• 10 pounds: Harry Potter tattoo (Sorry Mom. I think this is totally happening.)
• 20 pounds: A GORGEOUS Kate Spade handbag which I bought during her recent surprise sale! I had the purse shipped to my parents' house and have instructed them to withhold it from me until I've reached this goal.

This is the bag I bought- the Kate Spade Bow Valley Rosa in pink. Isn't it lovely?

via

And yes, I realize that being motivated by material goods is not exactly the preferred method of losing weight, but to each their own, right?

Wish me luck!

Psssh as if I need it!*

*Yes. I need it.

Have I become Bridget Jones?

As if my recent weight gain, weekly intake of wine, and misfortune in love weren't enough evidence to support this theory, as I was organizing my book collection this morning, I came to the shocking realization of how many self help books I've acquired.

Hmmm.

Well.

If I really have become Bridget, maybe that means there is a Mark Darcy wearing a reindeer jumper in my future?

A girl can dream.

Freshman Year of Adult Life

Somehow, it is already the sixth day of February, and I've not yet written a single post.

My future self is not going to be pleased about that.

Of course, my current self isn't too thrilled either.

But on to the post! Which, I must warn you, isn't the most uplifting of prose.

For quite a while now, I've been feeling pretty down.

Okay. Confession time. I've actually been feeling pretty sad since last June.

I've been struggling to deal with the incredible amount of changes that come with the end of undergrad and the beginning of "adult" life. It makes me feel like I'm some sort of freshman all over again, desperately trying to assimilate and fit in.

New apartment, new friends, new job.

It's just a lot to take in and handle.

I am constantly thinking back on last year, when my biggest concern was if I would finish my paper in time to go out on a Thursday night or maybe worrying if I would sleep through my alarm before one of my Saturday shifts at the salon.

I slept in at least two or three days each week, and every evening I came home to a dining room table surrounded by friends.

A typical night at our campus dining room table

I especially love to reminisce about the Friday evenings Rachel and I would spend at the campus rec center. We would go around 6:30 or 7 and practically have the place all to ourselves. We would use elliptical machines or treadmills that were right next to each other and gossip during our entire workout. We would discuss which boys we were currently interested in, where we were going that night, and which classes were driving us mad.

Those evenings at the gym will always be some of my most favorite memories.

I know that I have so many new and exciting things to look forward to in the future.

I am so thankful for my full-time job, family, and friends. I realize how incredibly fortunate I am.

But still, I continue to struggle getting my feel of this new world and figure out what my role in it will be.

I really hope I start to feel like myself again soon.