It may look like I've been hiding out for longer, but really, life has just been crazy busy between work, school, group projects, a new man in the picture, etc, etc.
Oh, and that last item on the above list?
That's why I've been avoiding my blog today.
Because he has already broken up with me. A mere month into our courtship.*
And to be quite honest- it hurt really badly. And it also came flying in from left field.
We saw each other twice last weekend, and then I brought him dinner Wednesday night (sushi, no less!).
Everything was happy and great and normal when we hung out Wednesday evening. If anything, things felt better than ever. He was so appreciative of the sushi as we talked about our days and our plans for Friday night.
"What time do you leave work today?" he texted me Thursday.
It was strange for him to be texting me in the middle of the workday, but I stupidly thought that maybe he was concerned about me getting home during the impending storm or perhaps he was planning to surprise me with flowers before I rushed off to class.
I am a fool.
He called me at 4:30, and thank goodness I was catching up with one of my roommates during that time or else I would have been broken up with BEFORE CLASS! Who wants to nurse a broken heart during a three hour graduate school course?
"Sorry I couldn't talk! I'll call you after class. Is everything okay?" I texted him as I hurried to campus.
"I'll just talk to you after class. No rush," he responded.
Notably, he did not affirm that everything was okay. Because clearly, it was not.
When we finally touched base later that night, the conversation started off normally. We chatted about our days, and then I said, "So, what time do you want to do dinner tomorrow?"
Awkward pause.
"Listen, so I don't think I can hang out anymore on Friday."
"That's okay! What's going on tomorrow?" I chattered away, oblivious to what was to come. My last moments of innocence.
"I need to tell you something...it's just, I think things are moving really fast, and I need some space and time to think this all through. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship yet."
I was speechless.
He continued on, "I think you're fantastic. There is literally nothing wrong with you.** I am afraid I'm making a huge mistake right now, but I need to do this..."
...
"...are you there?"
I was there, bloggers, but I was crying and trying to keep him from hearing. I was completely surprised this was happening, and it was painful.
"Yes," I managed to murmur.
He continued talking, but I wasn't hearing a word.
"Listen, I'll just talk to you later, okay?" I cut him off, my voice finding some strength. "Oh, wait. Actually, no I won't."
I pressed "End."
And then I cried for quite a bit longer.
I haven't heard from him since Thursday, and I feel pretty gutted.
To make matters worse, he had met so many of my friends, and I had told family members and coworkers about him. Just last weekend, he was over making me Valentine's dinner for goodness sake.
It's pretty humiliating, you know?
I know I'll be just fine. I always am.
But to be quite honest with you bloggers, I really thought this one was special. Something felt different this time around.
Ah, well...onward and upward, I suppose.
But to be quite honest with you bloggers, I really thought this one was special. Something felt different this time around.
Ah, well...onward and upward, I suppose.
*I reserve the right to use the word "courtship" on this blog and pretend I live in Jane Austen's world.
**This is actually untrue (shocking, I know).
Jenna!! L.A.M.E. That is what he is if he doesn't see how amazing you are. I am so sorry you are hurting, I advise a "break-up brownie" from TGIFridays (the one with the warm oozing chocolate and vanilla ice cream that you share with your best gay friend…it helps ease the pain; I've eaten plenty!) If this dude was under 30, then he's just immature and not ready yet. I had a theory that men need to be 30 to really be "ready" to settle down. HUGS HUGS HUGS and some wine. Oh and SATC always helped too. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHis loss! Seriously. He did you a favor for doing it early on rather than waiting longer when you've really fallen for him. But it sucks because you liked him, introduced him to people you love. I wish you didn't have to go through this but you'll get someone that deserves to be with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Jenna!!! It is his loss for sure. I'm sorry you're upset and hurting. Take care of yourself and know you will find that big love someday!! Hugs
ReplyDeleteUGH. How lame of him. But can I just say that I want to just high-five you AND give you a big hug for how you handled that phone conversation?! The cutting him off and the "Oh, wait. Actually, no I won't" is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I know that I would not have handled that nearly as well.
ReplyDeleteI do hate that you have to deal with this though! Chin up though, dear! You're fabulous and I know that you'll find someone who isn't a commitment fearing man-child!
oh no! I'm sending virtual hugs!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to fly home and come beat him up for hurting you! Love you Jenna! Aunt Jodi
ReplyDeleteGUYS SUCK. I'm so sorry Jenna. :( That excuse is the lamest in all of lame excuses in the history of mankind.
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs from across the ocean. xoxox
My sweet Jenna! I need to stay up to date so I know when things like this happen. I'm as shocked as you were! Nothing any of us say will make it better, but time will! And I love you so that's all that matters. Move to Richmond...?
ReplyDelete