A snowy morning in the life of an anxious person

Last night around 6PM, a powerful ice/snow/sleet storm descended upon the people of Cincinnati.

Since I was home (and safe and warm), it was positively cozy and delightful.

But this morning when the alarm went off for work?

It was not so idyllic.

I live in a neighborhood where the streets are not plowed until very late in the day, and it only took a quick glance out the window to see that the City of Cincinnati was remaining consistent with that set-up.

Our county had a Level 2 Snow Emergency, which means: Roadways are hazardous with blowing and drifting snow. Roads may also be very icy. Only those who feel it is necessary to drive should be out on the roads. Contact your employer to see if you should report to work. Motorists should use extreme caution.

I got ready for work as usual and headed out to the garage. My anxiety only grew when I realized that there was a such a thick layer of ice that my weight didn't even penetrate the snow!

And I am no small human being.

I started the trusty Corolla and put the car in reverse.

Except nothing happened.

It hit the snow and couldn't break through.

The next twenty minutes were spent shoveling, hopping back in the Corolla to see if I could make it through, shoveling again, etc.

Finally, I was able to move and escape the confines of my driveway. I eased on to the street and thought, "Result! Hurrah! Off to work I go. I am so rugged!"

Stupid, unplowed street

Yet even in a lower gear, my Corolla was having a nearly impossible time braking, and that is a very, very scary feeling.

After the third time getting my car temporarily stuck in the deep snow (having only moved about 100 feet), I decided it to turn around and head back home.

...only to get stuck trying to pull into my driveway.

My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding as I tried to maneuver my car out of the street.

Nothing was working though so I had to get out and start shoveling ice aside and pushing.

Which is very out of character for me.

But when your car is stuck and you're about to cause a huge traffic jam (right outside your house no less), choices are indeed limited.

Even though I got my car unstuck (all by myself, thank you!) and am now safe inside my house, I feel absolutely horrible for having to miss work today.

My dad called and made me feel even worse.

I know he didn't mean to make me feel bad, but the last thing I needed to hear was someone second-guessing my decision when I was already feeling bad about it.

I so wish I could just accept the fact that I tried really hard to get to work this morning but ultimately decided it was unsafe. I wish I could just accept that this was the best decision in that moment and enjoy the rest of my vacation day.

Instead, I am spending my time worrying that people at work will think I'm lazy, dramatic, or a bad teammate.

Oh, what I would give to be a less anxious person.

This is my first adult snow day, and it is kind of awful.